Pain vs Suffering (and how to get out)

14218383_10153876069386188_401536503_nOne of the main reasons my clients come to me is pain.  Both physical and emotional pain, which is no surprise because they are intricately intertwined.  And many of us get pain and suffering all tangled up, which makes the situation more intense and overwhelming, and zaps even more of your energy.




I have openings for 1-1 clients in this specific, unique and powerful body of work. 
You can see more and book a free consultation with me here:

There are 2 main factors at play that are changeable and that bring quick relief.

*The attachment to the suffering &
*The resistance of the pain


I remember being in labor with my second son (I didn’t labor much with the first kiddo, he was a c-section and was out before labor progressed too far).  I was at home with the midwives and doula, my then husband, the older kid, and a dear friend.  When I relaxed into the pain of labor it simply became intense.


The EDGE that HURT dissipated.  I was able to detach from any expectation that I had to suffer during birth, and thanks to some potent tools, was able to drop the resistance to the pain.


Pain did arise.

It DID hurt.

AND I was able to change that.


This is possible for most, and maybe all pain.  I definitely don’t have the monk like mastery to presume that I could do the same for all pain at this point in my life, but I do know I do it often and have taught many others to do the same, and frankly that has brought a TON of RELIEF!


So let’s look a little more deeply at the concepts of PAIN, SUFFERING, ATTACHMENT, and RESISTANCE.


Pain is your direct, sensational response.
Suffering is your emotional and mental reaction.
Attachment is your hook into something.
Resistance is a force against something.


When you see these so simply, you may already start to get that you can tease them out, that you can soften and create ease.  But when you are IN and EXPERIENCE, things get cloudy, messy, tangled, and that discernment doesn’t necessarily take place.  


So you have to be preemptive, practice, prepare your mind, your heart, your nervous system.
Meditative and Embodied Movement practices are 2 of the main ways I set my system up to be able to experience pain with less resistance – and therefore less discomfort – and detach from suffering.


There are many ways to meditate.  I used to have a very consistent traditional Buddhist style sitting practice that was at least a half hour long daily, often more, and attended regular, longer group sits.  These days I draw from that and practice in moments.  Short stints dipping into that groove, and mindful daily activities like slowing down when I go to get in the shower, or getting ready to drive.  This little shift has profound impact on your ability to perceive situations without becoming a tangled mess with all the emotions. Again, I’m NOT 100%, I’m a HOT MESS sometimes, I lose it.  BUT…I don’t know where I would be without this practice.


Embodied Movement can look a lot of ways too. Sometimes it’s my yoga practice which lasts anywhere from 1 minute to 1 hour.  Sometimes it is dancing it out.  Sometimes it’s more of an eclectic bodyweight strength play thing.  It can be anything, the trick is to be attentive, to breathe, to connect your conscious awareness to your body’s wisdom.


Breath is my 3rd favorite tool.  Basic “box” breathing.  Counting a nice deep inhale, holding your breath in for the same count, exhaling the same count, holding your breath out for that same count, and repeating.  Alternate nostril breathing is another helpful way to soothe the nervous system and shift perspective.


Alternate Nostril Breathing:

*Using your right hand use your thumb to close your right nostril

*Inhale through your left nostril for a count of 4 (or whatever)
*Hold that breath in for the same count

*Use your right ring finger to close the left nostril and exhale through the right for the same count

*Hold the breath out for the same count

*Keeping the left nostril closed, inhale the same count through the right

*Hold in-breath for the same count

*Using right thumb close the right nostril and exhale through the left for the same count

*Hold breath out for the same count

*Repeat as many rounds as you are comfortable with, always ending with an exhale through the left

*Sit quietly with a normal breath for a few moments and just be



I hope these concepts and tools are helpful to you.
I’d love to hear your experience.


When have you successfully separated pain and suffering to create ease and relief, even when there is intensity?


What would you like more guidance and support on in this area? How can I help you!

Hit reply if you’ve got something to share!







PS…Women come to work with me for a variety of reasons, there is no ONE THING we do. BUT…there is ONE COMMON THREAD…

*They all want to feel more at home in their body.

*They all want more energy and less heaviness of body and heart.

*They all want to FULLY LIVE their authentic self, and something has them on lockdown, and they can’t untangle themselves.

These are some of the powerful results my clients experience:

* Move through physical, emotional, & energetic blocks

* Align what’s off by uplifting their body alignment

* Develop and Empowered Body with inner & outer strength, flexibility & resiliency

* Contagious Presence that radiates their authentic vibe and makes a powerful impact with their peeps

* Increased capacity for bigger, bolder moves from decreased depleting habits

* Shift habits and patterns from stress, strain, and drain, to ease, efficiency, and energy

* Embody their passion and purpose, like FEEL it EXPERIENCE it in their body and life!


I have openings for 1-1 clients in this specific, unique and powerful body of work. You can see more and book a free consultation with me here:

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